"This is the book of life I should have read before leaving university in London.
It's got it all.
Sex, sex tourism, drugs, alcohol, alcoholism, prostitution & suicide.
In my search for sex and sobriety I travel from London to Amsterdam; to San Francisco, California; to Bangkok & Pattaya in Thailand and to Manila, Angeles City & Subic Bay in the Philippines.
Don't end up a loser like me.
Read this book."
- Paul Pisces
Chapter 22: Bang, Bang, Bang
On my way back to London I am going to stop off in Pattaya, Thailand for a week. I am going to drink heavily and behave terribly.
I fly to Bangkok and hire a taxi for the two hour drive to the coast. In Pattaya I stay again in 'The Carlton'. I am a creature of habit and if I find somewhere I like I tend to stick with it. In the evenings I cruise the bars drinking. It's a strange lifestyle but it suits me. I look back at my life and see the choices I made. I was destined to be where I am. I was never going to have a wife, two point four kids, a family car and a detached house in the suburbs. I am just far too unstable. I like excitement and risk. Risky places, risky people and risky behaviour.
They say that in life two things are unavoidable. Taxes and death. Well, some taxes are avoidable. I havenít paid any income tax this year because I havenít earned anything. In fact I got a tax rebate from the U.S. government of about three thousand dollars. However, death isnít avoidable. We are all going to die. It is easy to forget this when you are young and healthy but when you are older with health problems or when you have been close to death, it seems very real. For some death can even seem to be a blessed relief.
I am not intending to die yet and when I do die, I want to have lived. I want to have taken risk.
I am walking to my favourite restaurant in Pattaya's Soi 3 for lunch when I see a stunning Thai girl outside a short time bar. She has got the most amazingly pretty face that I have ever seen and immaculately kept, very long, straight black hair, which runs all the way down her back and past her bottom. I enter the bar and buy her a drink. Her English is not very good but when she smiles at me, I just melt.
In stilted conversation I find out she is twenty-two, divorced and has two children. She works in the bar so that she can send her children to school. How many times have I heard that story? More often than I can remember. Here education is seen as the way out of misery and poverty. In England education is seen by many young people as something best avoided.
"You want short time?" she asks.
"Hell yes." She leads me upstairs and into a bedroom. She undresses me, undresses herself and then leads me to a shower room where she washes me and examines my dick for any signs of infection.
Naked she loses a little of her lustre. It is clear that her two children have taken a toll on her body and she has bad stretch marks on her abdomen. But I still melt when I look at that face. Satisfied with the state of my dick she leads me back into the bedroom and sucks on my cock until it is firm.
"How you want fuck me?" she asks as she rolls a condom onto my weapon.
"Dog style," I say. She has a pretty arse and a pretty face so dog style will be best.
It doesn't last long. Looking into that pretty face is a huge turn-on
and very soon I find myself back in the shower room receiving ablutions
from my girl.
"You want long-time?" I ask her. I am rather besotted.
"No. Only short-time. I see my kids."
Perhaps it's just as well. Her English isn't really good enough for us to sustain a relationship. But what a pretty face. Unbelievable.
It is my last night in Thailand and I intend to go out with a bang or more accurately three bangs. I have got just enough hard currency on me to pay for three girls and I am going to spend all of it.
I am wandering around the closed bars in Soi 2 when I find what I am
looking for. Entering a bar I see three girls dancing together at one
end of the stage. They are laughing and joking with each other and
appear to be good friends. I sit in front of them and ask their names.
One of them can speak good English.
"Are you friends?" I ask her.
"No weíre cousins," she says. "You like three girls?"
She catches on fast.
I pay the bar-fines and the girls get changed into their street clothes. We go bar-hopping and I buy the girls as much alcohol as they want. They are all quite pretty without being stunning. One is much darker in colour than the other two, another of them is very reserved. The third girl is the one who can speak English. She is my translator.
Itís fun to take three girls out because they will talk and have fun together and I donít have to make a lot of conversation. I am wondering how it will all work out in bed. We find a bar where we take turns to play pool. The evening is going well. Finally we get back to ĎThe Carltoní where the girls raid my mini-bar for chocolate and beer (and anything else they can get their hands on). I was expecting this.
Once before I had bar-fined two Thai girls at the same time but it didn't work very well because they spent all evening talking to each other. Even when I was fucking them they were still discussing something or other. Probably chatting about the size of my dick or my performance in bed. It was a bit off-putting.
With the three girls it works better. While I am with one girl, the other two chat while watching my technique. At other times they are so busy playing with each other that they barely notice what's going on in the bed next to them. I begin with the dark one as she is the prettiest but after a while I notice a dark stain on the bedspread. She is in menstruation.
I get off of her and climb aboard the more reserved girl. She has drunk
a lot of alcohol by now and has lost most of her inhibitions. She
quickly brings me to a climax with her thrusting pelvis. Two down, one
"Why am I last?" says the girl with the good English. She is annoyed at being ignored so long.
"I like to save the prettiest till last," I lie. She is very passionate and seems keen on me. She works hard and eventually brings me to a finish.
"Can I stay all night?" she asks.
"OK," I say. I certainly don't want all three girls to stay all night. They could end up getting very drunk, trashing the room or robbing me blind. I send two of the girls home at 2am with a tip. The other one sleeps with me until morning. When she leaves I give her a big tip.
"Will you come and see me tonight?" she asks.
"Iím sorry, Honey. I fly home to England today." She looks heartbroken.
My week of excess is over and I am exhausted. I get a coach from Pattaya to Bangkok and fly back to London with my head full of memories and my hopes high. All I need to do is find a new job. It is that simple.
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